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Borat Quotes from the movie Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.

• Very nice!
—Borat’s trademark quote

• I could not concentrate on what this old man was saying. All I could think of was this CJ in her red waterpanties.
—During feminist interview.

• In Kazakhstan Barbara means to eat and Bush means Bush.
—Talking to an american lady about Barbara Bush (George Bush Snr’s wife).

• You have big bollocks!
—Talking to an American farmer about his Bullocks.

• You are a retard?
—Talking to a retired American male

• I like sex!
— Talking about sex

• Jagshemash! My name a Borat. I like you. I like sex, it’s nice. These are my country of a Kazakhstan.
— Presenting his new movie

• My mother, she never love me. (Stifled chuckle) She say she wish she was raped by someone else.
— Talking to a couple of older southern gents

• This my neighbor, Nursultan Tuleiakbay. He is pain in my assholes. I get a window from a glass, he must get a window from a glass. I get a step, he must get a step. I get a clock-radio, he cannot afford. Great success!
—Talking about his neighbor in the beginning of his movie.

• Last night I… I had a sex.
—Making conversation to an elder woman at a formal lunch

• Her vagine hang like a sleeve of wizard.
—Talking to a car salesman - referring to his former wife

• In Kazakhstan, three main issues: economic, social, and Jew.
— Introducing Kazakhstan to America

• This suit is NOT black!
— Unsuccessfully attempting a “not” joke with help from a humor instructor

• This suit is black not.
— Still failing to make a “not” joke correctly

• My moustache still tastes of your testes!
— Speaking to his producer Azamat after the two had a nude wrestling match

• I hope President Bush drinks the blood of every man, woman, and child in Iraq!
— Talking to a rodeo crowd before singing the Kazakh national anthem

• I will look upon your treasures, gyspy. This is understood?
— Confusing a woman conducting a yard sale with a gypsy

• Gypsy, give me your tears. If you will not give them to me, I will take them from you!
— Still not understanding what a yard sale is

• They have return! And they shape shift!
— Mistaking cockroaches in his room at a bed and breakfast with “shape-shifting” Jews

• My wife, she is dead…She die in ahh, in a field…
—Making conversation in “British Guide to Ettiquette”

• There is a smell…It smell like a shit.
—Making conversation at a formal lunch

• I like you, do you like me? In Kazakstahn we think America technologely very good, and now I see is a very primitive.
— Talking to a man who is demonstrating carpentry techniques from the 19th century

• My sister…she´s a…prostitute. (Answer: That´s sad, why?). She like to make money, high five!
—Making conversation to an elder woman at a formal lunch

• May I ask you are a man who does with another man?
—A question posed to a man attending the Henley Regatta

• Mow the fucking Bucks!
—Cheering on a team at the Henley Regatta

• Do you like a porno?
—Making conversation at a formal lunch

• Throw the Jew down the well, so my country can be free. You must grab him by his horns, and then we have a big party.
— Singing in a country bar in USA

• They do a bang bang bang in other men anus
—Talking to James Broadwater about the men in Kazakhstan

• We say in Kazakhstan, a man who goes to power, must have a big… how you say? (gestures to his groin). How you say…Khram?
— Talking to James Broadwater and a possible voter

• Every Englishman must have a hobby. Some like to collect the stamp, some like to make the jam, but the most fun is to a kill a little animal with a shotgun or rip them up with wild dog.
—Commenting on English hunting

• Is possible make a shit your house immediately, very urgent, I have problem, please?
— Asking a possible voter of James Broadwater

• In Kazakhstan we have many hobbies: disco dancing, archery, rape, and table tennis.
—Talking about hobbies

• There are many job opportunities in the US and of A. For men, construction worker, taxi driver or accountant. For woman, prostitute.
— Talking about the job opportunities in America

• This my friend Mari. I come here for massage and, how you say? Hand relief. Every Thursday, he clean my hole.
—At the Buitcha Water Spa in “Almaty”

• This one I have to pay money for, but she worth it! Wa wa wee wa!
—Introducing one of his many lady friends from the Best of Borat

• You think maybe Blair is a man who take off his clothes and let his chram go hard and put in a man’s bottom?
—Interviewing a protester

• And Gypsies, can they play or is best to keep them away?
—Questioning a bowls club manager.

• But if she cheat on me, I will crush her!
—Speaking with Jenny Noel from Great Expectations Dating Agency

• Zai had a good shit.
—After relieving himself at the same lunch.

• I love a baseball, do you love a baseballs?
—At a Savannah Sand Gnats baseball game, speaking to the crowd

• Is nice… Is a good, but I have… seen bigger.
—Speaking with a man on the street about his penis, after touching it

• She was voted by Almaty Chamber of Commerce as best sex in mouth. She is number 2, or 3, best prostitute in the country of Kazakhstan.
—Speaking with singer and country musician Porter Wagoner about his sister while asking for song ideas

• My wife, she is scared of men with chocolate face
—Speaking to an estate agent, who promptly informed him that it’s possible, although anyone purchasing property in the area would be quite well off.

• My friend, Azamat Bagatov, a giant from Turkmenistan attack him and broke his anus.
— Telling the self defence teacher about rapes in Kazakhstan

• My wife, she make very much noise when she do a toilet.

• In my country we say to let a woman drive a car is like to let a monkey fly a plane, very dangerous yes.

• I say this because, I had a very bad Gypsie attack…they stole my wife, plow… and they touch my horse in a very bad way… he got very depressed.
— Speaking to an estate agent about a house with a fence.

• Can I buy you?
— Directed towards an elderly employee at a recreation of a slave plantation.

• If you vote for him he will make sure you and your family have a good years. If you do not… you´ll be sorry.
— Trying to convince an elderly woman to vote for James Broadwater for U.S. Congress.

• You are a fat! (laughs) And you are little! Is very funny!
— Talking to a husband and wife after the formal lunch has ended

• Democracy is different in America. For example: women can vote but horse can not!
— Talking about the difference between America and Kazakhstan.

• Can I put a camera in the lady toilet?
— Asking questions at a job interview.

• Is this the owner of the house you’re camping in front of, gypsy?
— Looking at a “Barbie” doll at the Yard Sale

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