Bar Jokes's archive
Phone Company
Q: What does a red neck call the phone company?
A: Taco Bell!
Drunken Man and a Blonde Joke
After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, ''You wanna hear a blonde joke?'' The person replies, ''I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 [...]
Hydrogen Ion
A Hydrogen ion walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I’ve lost my electron!". The bartender says to him, "are you sure?"
"I’m positive!"
Ten Blondes in a Bar
A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table.
The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and [...]
Forgive Me!
Joke Sponsored by Health, Beauty, Lingerie, Sex Advice
This recovering alcoholic is down town to pick up his income tax return. He passes by a bar and turns to go inside. He stops and thinks to himself “If I go in here and get drunk, my wife will leave me”. He makes a promise to himself [...]
Piano Monkey
At a piano bar in downtown New York City. The pianist sends his monkey down the bar to collect dollars and change everytime he plays a different melody on his piano.
A drunkard walks up to the bar, and orders a fresh mug of beer.The pianist just finishing another piano number. Send his monkey down the [...]
Her side and his side
HER SIDE OF THE STORY
He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit late but he didn`t say anything much about it.
The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so [...]
Magical dancing duck
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they [...]
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