1. SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
2. GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
3. IF THEY DON’T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN’T GOING.
4. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.
5. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG.
6. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN [...]

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Guns dont kill people my cousin does (mexican bumper sticker)

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If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
A penny saved is ridiculous.

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It takes a bitch like me to love a bastard like him
If god wanted people to be queer he would have created adam and steve.
Your village called they said that they are missing an idot.
Ass, gas or grass no one rides for free
Safe Sex Sucks So Screw Someone Special
If you’re [...]

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