Tired of his low approval ratings, President Clinton called up the head of the CIA and said, “I want your very best agent over here first thing in the morning.”
Moments later, a call went out to the Middle East, and the most gifted American agent was headed back to Washington.
The next morning, the agent was escorted into the Oval Office. The President said, “I hear you’re the best in the business. I can’t trust what my staff tells me.
Read the rest of this joke…
Share and Enjoy:These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
Loading ...
Email This Joke
Reporter: Governor Clinton, what damage do you think has been done to your campaign by your wife’s comment the other day about how “Hitler was really a great guy”?
Clinton: (Mixture of sadness and anger, but articulate as always.) Hillary and myself are shocked, outraged, and deeply saddened by this terrible misunderstanding. The media hype is way out of proportion. You guys should know us by now–we would never say anything like that. And though she did say a few things about Germany she certainly didn’t mean anything offensive by her remarks, which I might add have been willfully and shamefully taken out of context and distorted. There is nothing in my life, or Hillary’s life, which can be construed as derogatory toward the German people. We honor them. Some of our best friends are Germans. My own grandmother was one-quarter German. And it certainly isn’t true that Germans are excluded from our country club. In my eleven years as Governor of Arkansas I was responsible for hiring more German-Americans than my three predecessors combined. We have some pie charts which we’ll pass around for all you boys so you have the whole story. Once the American people know all the facts they’ll understand just how ridiculous this is.
Read the rest of this joke…
Share and Enjoy:These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
Loading ...
Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One.
Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, “You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy.”
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, “Well, I could throw ten $1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy”.
Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, “Of course, then, I could throw one-hundred $100 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy.”
Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, “I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy.”
Share and Enjoy:These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
Loading ...
Clinton is on the beach at Martha’s Vinyard and finds that an old bottle has washed ashore. When the Prez opens it a very wan Genie snakes out.
Genie: Hi Bill. I’m a very weak genie, so I can only grant you one wish–it had better be easy if you want me to do it.
Clinton: I pray for world peace. Give me that.
Genie: That’s a little hard, give me something easier.
Clinton: Make Hillary into the most beautiful woman in the world?
Genie: World peace it is.
Joke Sponsored by Humor Directory
Share and Enjoy:These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
Loading ...
Bill Clinton, George Bush, a spectacular looking blonde woman and an enormously large woman with an unfriendly scowl are in a train car. The train passes through a tunnel, and in the darkness the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. As the train pulls out of the tunnel, the daylight reveals a big red slap mark on Clinton’s cheek.
The blond thinks: “That rascal Clinton wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who must have slapped his face”
The fat lady thinks: “That dirty old Bill Clinton touched the blonde and she smacked him.”
Bill Clinton thinks: “George put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me.”
George Bush thinks: “I hope there’s another tunnel soon so I can smack Clinton again.”
Share and Enjoy:These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
Loading ...
Q: What’s the difference between Monica Lewinsky and the rest of us?
A: In order for us to get some dick in the White House, we had to go out and vote.
Q: How will history remember Bill Clinton?
A: The President after Bush.
Q: What’s the difference between Bill Clinton and his dog Buddy?
A: One tries to hump the leg of every woman in the White House, the other is a chocolate Lab.
Q: What does Clinton say to interns as they leave his office?
A: “Don’t hit your head on the desk.”
Q: Did you hear about the Bill Clinton sale at clothing stores on President’s day?
A: All pants half off.
Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and the Buffalo Bills have in common?
A: They both blew the big one several times.
Q: What was the first thing Monica saw in government?
A: The Executive Branch.
Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and soda pop machines have in common?
A: They both have slots which say “Insert Bill” here.”
Share and Enjoy:These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
Loading ...
(9 votes, average: 4.22 out of 5)
