Dirty Jokes's archive
The Complaint
The complaint:
Ms.B.Haven;
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:I do physical labor.I work at great depths.I plunge head first into everything I do.I do not get weekends or public holidays off.I work in a damp environment.I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.I work in high temperatures.My work [...]
Catholic Girls
A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St Peter.
St Peter asks first girl, “Rebecca, have you ever had any contact with a penis?”
She giggles and shyly replies, “Well I once touched the head of One with [...]
Why Fishing Is Better Than Sex
When you go fishing and you catch something, that’s good. If you’re making love and you catch something, that’s bad.
Fish don’t compare you to other fishermen neither and don’t want to know how many other fish you caught.
In fishing you lie about the one that got away. In loving you lie about the one you [...]
Computer Password
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password.
Something he will use to log on.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to [...]
Blonde and Rooster
Q:What do a rooster and a blond have in common?
A:The rooster says “cockoldoodledoo” and the blond says,” any cock ull do”
Making Love
Joke Sponsored by Health, Beauty, Lingerie, Sex Advice
The Italian says, “When I’ve a finisheda makina da love with my girlfriend I go down and gently tickle the back of her kneesa, she floatsa 6 inches abovea da bed in ecstasy”.
The Frenchman replies, “Zat is nothing, when Ah ‘ave finished making ze love with ze girlfriend, [...]
Adam And Eve And Mr. and Mrs. Jones
Joke Sponsored by Health, Beauty, Lingerie, Sex Advice
Each Sunday, Mr and Mrs Jones go to their local church for a service, but recently, Mr Jones has been falling alseep and snoring throughout. So, after one particularly embarrassing day, Mrs Jones went to see the vicar.
Mrs Jones: Vicar, can you help me? My husband keeps falling [...]
Blonde and The Titanic
What is the difference between a blonde and “The Titanic”?
They know how many men went down on “The Titanic”
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