Doctor Jokes's archive
Blonde visits shrink
Joke Sponsored by Health, Beauty, Lingerie, Sex Advice
A blonde is speaking to his psychiatrist.
Blonde, “I’m on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.”
Psychiatrist, “Don’t you have a phone in your car?”
Blonde, “That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a [...]
The Ball Game
Joke Sponsored by Sports Obsessed
A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands.
When the day of the game arrived. Everything went quite well. As the National Anthem started, the doctor yelled, “Up Nuts”, and the [...]
My wife is beating me
David: My wife beats me, doctor.
Doctor: Oh dear. How often?
David: Every time we play Scrabble!
We are the best of friends
The patient shook His doctor’s hand in gratitude and said, “Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will.”
“That is very kind of you,” said the doctor emotionally, and then added, [...]
What is your problem?
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Professions Fight
Two physicians board a flight out of Seattle. One sits in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before take-off, an attorney sits in the seat by the aisle. The lawyer kicks off his shoes, wiggle his toes, and starts to settle in, when the physician in the window seat says, “I [...]
Surgical Patients
Four doctors who hadn’t seen each other since their surgical residencies met at a medical seminar. Adjourning for dinner and drinks, they turned their conversation to who makes the best surgical patients:
The first said, for sure, electrical engineers. “You open ‘em up,†he contended, “and everything is color-coded.â€
Doctor’s prescription
A 92 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
At his follow up visit the doctor talked to the man and said, “You`re really doing great, aren`t you?”
The man replied, [...]
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