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A Mafia Godfather finds out that one of his underlings has screwed him out of ten million bucks. This underling happens to be deaf, so the Godfather brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the underling, “Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?”

The attorney, using sign language, asks the underling where the 10 million dollars is hidden.

The underling signs back, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

The attorney tells the Godfather, “He says he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.”

That’s when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the underling’s temple, cocks it and says, “Ask him again!”

The attorney signs to the underling, “He’ll kill you for sure if you don’t tell him!”

The underling signs back: “OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo’s backyard in Queens!”

The Godfather asks the attorney, “Well, what’d he say?” The attorney replies, “He says you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger.”

(6 votes, average: 4.83 out of 5)

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What do a brick and a fat woman have in common?

Eventually they’ll both be laid by a mexican

(14 votes, average: 3.64 out of 5)

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Q. why don’t blacks and mexicans ever marry?
A. their kids are too lazy to steal.

Q. why do scottsmen wear kilts?
A. sheep can hear zippers.

Q. what’s the difference between a mexican and a park bench?
A. a park bench can support a family of 4.

Q. what do you call a mexican porn star?
A. inch-a-lotta

Q. what’s the difference between a Jew and a birthday cake?
A. the cake doesn’t scream when you put it in the oven.

Q. Did you hear that 79% of all women in the U.S. are battered?
A. And to think i’ve been eating mine raw the whole time!

Q. what do you call a mexican in a 3 piece suit?
A. will the defendant please rise?

(26 votes, average: 2.69 out of 5)

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A man was placed in intensive care, needles stuck everywhere, tubes running over his disease-ridden body like a spider’s web, nearly comatose. A week later, a second man was put in the same room in very nearly the same condition.

Both men lay there, near death, machines pinging, oxygen tubes, puffing, monitors ding-donging, lights flashing. After a few days, one of the men summoned the strength to weakly raise his hand and catch the other man’s attention. He pointed to himself and wheezed out, “Jim………..my.”

The other man weakly pointed to himself and said, “Paddy.”

This act tired them both out so badly it was another day or two before they had the strength to try again. The first man weakly pointed to himself and murmured in almost inaudible tones, “Scottish.”
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(18 votes, average: 2.11 out of 5)

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An American tourist in Moscow found himself needing to get rid of a large supply of garbage from His recent stay at an apartment. After a long search, he just couldn`t find any place to discard of it. So, he just went down one of the side streets to dump it there.
Yet, he was stopped by a Moscow police officer, who said, “Hey you, what are you doing?”
“I have to throw this away,” replied the tourist.
“You can`t throw it away here. Look, follow me,” the policeman offered.
The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. “Here,” said the cop, “dump all the garbage you want.”
The American shrugs, opens up the large bags of garbage, and dumps them right on the flowers.
“Thanks for giving me a place to dump this stuff. This is very nice of you. Is this Russian courtesy?” asked the tourist.
“No. This is the American Embassy.”

(11 votes, average: 4.55 out of 5)

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