More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
You keep a can [...]

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A Mafia Godfather finds out that one of his underlings has screwed him out of ten million bucks. This underling happens to be deaf, so the Godfather brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.
The Godfather asks the underling, “Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from [...]

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What do a brick and a fat woman have in common?
Eventually they’ll both be laid by a mexican

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Q. why don’t blacks and mexicans ever marry?
A. their kids are too lazy to steal.
Q. why do scottsmen wear kilts?
A. sheep can hear zippers.
Q. what’s the difference between a mexican and a park bench?
A. a park bench can support a family of 4.
Q. what do you call a mexican porn star?
A. inch-a-lotta
Q. what’s the difference [...]

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A man was placed in intensive care, needles stuck everywhere, tubes running over his disease-ridden body like a spider’s web, nearly comatose. A week later, a second man was put in the same room in very nearly the same condition.
Both men lay there, near death, machines pinging, oxygen tubes, puffing, monitors ding-donging, lights flashing. After [...]

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An American tourist in Moscow found himself needing to get rid of a large supply of garbage from His recent stay at an apartment. After a long search, he just couldn`t find any place to discard of it. So, he just went down one of the side streets to dump it there.
Yet, he was stopped [...]

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