Q: What do elves learn in school?
Christmas Present
A: The Elf-abet!
Q: What’s the most popular wine at Christmas?
A: “I don’t like sprouts” !
Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.
Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.
Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll.
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On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike.
Christmas Santa
The cop says to the kid, “Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?”
The kid says, “Yeah.”
The cop says, “Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike.”
The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.
The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, “By the way, that’s a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?”
Humoring the kid, the cop says, “Yeah, he sure did.”
The kid says, “Well, next year tell Santa to put the stupidity in the horse’s brain instead of on his back.”
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